Post-concussion syndrome and depression mixed
I felt lost and alone in my situation. My brain didn’t work, so I couldn’t think my way out of it. My loved ones couldn’t see and tend to my broken brain as if it were a broken knee. How could they? Even the doctors couldn’t see it!
I just felt so disconnected. I saw everyone’s lives going on, while I was tumbling down a cliff in slowmotion. Friends got cars, peers bought houses, others were promoted at work. I didn’t blame them, it was just so painfully clear how I had fallen off track.
Of course I wanted to tell loved ones how I felt, but I didn’t have the emotional interaction skills nor the capacity back then. The fact of the matter was that I didn’t even understand it myself.
I continuously tried to push myself to be the old me again. I just wanted to be who I was before. But I couldn’t force it and nobody could help me – and this made me feel so angry and lost and upset and so incredibly alone.